Why would anyone beg to drive?

I think it’s time for a little update on how life is going. In my life I have been incredibly blessed with so many things at this point and I wouldn’t feel good about asking for more. However, if someone (maybe a genie perhaps) came to me and said since you have all of the immaterial blessings in life a person could ask for name a few things on the materialistic side you wouldn’t mind having. It would take no time at all for me to casually mention, to the genie of course, that I need a personal driver. It’s true; I need nothing else in life but a personal driver. I HATE to drive with an absolute passion. Buy me a brand new $100,000 luxury car and I don’t want it if it means I never have to drive again, but could still have the convenience of getting from point A to point B within a decent time frame. If I were an inventor (don’t count me out yet, I may become one after this) I would invent this perfect speaker sound system for the outside of cars. There will be some rules that come with it but those will come later. The gist of my invention is this. If someone is in the fast lane and feels like going slower than the slow lane you can simply tell your apparatus to tell the idiot (clearly not appropriate) in front of you to MOVE! Somehow my invention will use some generic voice though because we don’t need high pitch screams flying toward your car while you are trying to drive…even if you are an idiot. My list of examples can go on for days, but I’ll keep it to one. Use your imaginations and I’m sure you will be in agreement that this invention is a must. Wow, onto the real reason I started this entry. Poor Zach is not allowed to drive for a full 8 weeks. This means that he has 4 or 5 weeks left. He told me a couple weeks ago that he is having a really hard time having people wait on him. Obviously for an independent person this becomes difficult. The fact of the matter (I hate when people say that) is that he has to deal with it. We as his family do not mind driving him all over the place because it’s what family is for. I secretly hate it because I hate to drive…shocker! He told me that he will critique every little thing I do in my driving until I finally give in to him and let him drive. I laughed so hard, I thought it was a joke. Don’t you worry he was being 100% serious. Three weeks into me being his personal driver (he takes my biggest dream and makes it reality for himself) we have had no normal driving conversation. It goes like this…Sara turn here (as if I didn’t know), Sara weren’t you going here, Sara I think you’re going to wrong way, speed up, slow down, don’t turn so sharp, who taught you how to drive? All of this followed by a giggle from Zach. Zach thinks I’m going to give in against his doctor’s orders and let him drive out of pure frustration! I called the doctor and updated him on Zach’s progress. Please see very professional illustration. Doc knew right away Zach was trying to get away with driving and forbade it. Now I think Zach really believes me and started being the nice man I married! I think Zach has finally come to terms with the idea that he wouldn’t be driving for several more weeks. I don’t know what he’s complaining about! He really is being such a trooper though and I’m so proud of him for keeping such a great outlook on things! I love you honey!!!

Oh poor, poor, sweet Zach!

This post really could be several different posts, but I’m going to roll everything into one. If any of you don’t know already let me tell you how Zach was raised. His mom was a very hands on mom and she never let her kids go without. I personally think that’s a little overrated. I may think that though only because I’m constantly letting him go without. Before Zach and I got married I would always tell him that I can’t wait to have someone that I can pamper. I told him that I look forward to having someone else to cook dinner for, clean up after (boo), do laundry for etc. I honestly thought I was telling the truth though. I wasn’t just telling him these things so he would marry me. Where the heck did I go wrong….where did he go wrong? Poor guy! We got married a couple years ago and now he has this cute pudgy belly. Some would say that’s because I feed him so well. Ha ha ha ha, I’m laughing so hard right now. What really happened is malnutrition. Do you guys ever see those commercials with the kids from third world countries who are (God bless them all) sick from starvation? I’m not trying to make light of their terribly sad situation, but if any of you have noticed these poor kids have these bellies that stick so far out. We all know they aren’t fed well. That’s what has happened to my husband. I forgot to feed him and I’m sick about it. Don’t get me wrong, the boy is self sufficient…but only when it comes to fast food drive thru. I really don’t want something tragic happening to him like a heart attack years down the road. His dad had a heart attack when he was 45 so I know that from health history Zach is prone to the same devastating consequences. What I have concluded in all of this is that I am going to learn to domesticate myself. I don’t know how to do it so if anyone has any ideas please let me know. There are those that ask why we don’t have kids yet and let this be a good example as to why. Until I can learn to keep a plant kicking there is no way I’m letting a poor child suffer.

This last week while Zach was racing his BMX bike he had an accident and broke his hip. He took the ambulance to the hospital…who am I kidding…the ambulance took him to the hospital (and he hates how I drive)! He had surgery a few days later to put his hip back together. A few days after that he was out of the hospital. He has to be off his hip for 8 weeks! Now if that doesn’t get me on the road to domestication I don’t know what will. I think I have been doing pretty good waiting on him and then tonight rolls around. Gourmet meal or frozen pizza? I ask myself this question often (I don’t know what a gourmet meal means, I just hear the term a lot) and pizza usually wins. Zach however has to make it because I don’t know how. Sad huh? Anyway, I took a stab at the microwave pizza AND I LOST. How ridiculous is that? It’s a freaking frozen pizza. The instructions are to put in microwave for 3 minutes and serve. I got to the microwave I swear only 3 minutes later and cheese was everywhere…except on the pizza. Is there anyone out there who is willing to give me just one pointer on how to better domesticate myself? I’m sure Zach would win in divorce court if he were on his death bed from accidental poison or starvation….

Here goes nothing...

To be completely honest I don’t understand why people say that. “Here goes nothing”. Certainly something is going or there would be nothing following the statement “here goes nothing”. And in my case there is something to follow. So here goes something! I have finally decided to jump on the blogging bandwagon. I read everyone else’s blog and I always thought blogging was for those with kiddos. Kids seem to be a shared subject amongst the blogging bloggers. I decided after my fabulous mother decided to pick it up that I needed to see what this world is made of! I do, after all have an occasional story to share with those whom care! I do miss all my wonderful friends and family and I clearly do nothing on my end to keep in touch so maybe this will help. I love reading what is going on in your lives so now I’ll share a little about mine! Wish me luck.