My Apologies to Crazy - Not So Crazy - Cori "Cheney"

A while ago we had a girl’s night. We ate yummy food, played bonco, laughed, laughed, ate, laughed and made fun of Cori. I’m not sure how the subject came up but someone asked Cori if she suffered from a slight case of OCD. I guess being the over dramatic, older, dominating sister I couldn’t even let her answer her own question. Yet I found that I myself couldn’t answer it either. Not unless the snorting laughter coming straight from my lungs stopped first. At that point I found it very necessary to touch on a “small” part of Cori’s childhood. I decided it was important to tell all the girls just how really OCD Cori was. I’m not sure how many of you already know this, but I’ll tell my story anyway. When we were kids Cori always complained that the left side of her body was a lot bigger than the right side. We always dismissed her complaints because most, if not all, people suffered from this. Usually the difference is so minor that not many, or any, complain! Not Cori…she would ALWAYS stuff a wad of toilet paper in her right shoe because she thought it made her shoes feel the same size on her smaller foot. She would tie and re-tie her shoes over and over until the tightness was equal. Big deal? Ok not so much. The best part comes when my mom would be doing laundry and she would yell upstairs to Cori to get her butt downstairs. Hold on, I’ll be right back. I have to laugh so more….
Ok I’m back. She would say to Cori, “if you keep one more hair tie on your panties before you put them in the laundry you’re going to get grounded.” Some of you wonder what she meant by this. Cori’s complaint of her body being two different sizes really went to extremes. She would rip the left side of her underwear to make it a little looser on the leg (the leg that was SO much bigger). You’d think this was enough. Nope – she also tied the right side to be tighter with a hair tie so they felt the same. Seriously, was it that necessary? Were her legs really that different in size? I think not…I thought not.
The other night when we were all together we were laughing at this story so hard at poor Cori’s expense. She kept trying to defend herself but we couldn’t let her speak because we were laughing so hard. As I look back I realize Cori never let out any laughter. This was a serious subject. To her at least! After we all stopped laughing one of our friends gave Cori a chance to come to her own defense. She asked Cori if she still suffered this problem or if her right side had caught up to her. Cori said she still has the problem and it still drives her nuts but that she has learned to deal with it. I still couldn’t imagine that she wasn’t following in my dramatic fashion. I made her prove it. She backed up bare feet against a wall with a neutral person at her side to judge. It’s true; we concluded that night that Cori’s left half is in fact unnaturally bigger than her right. Her foot is literally an inch longer! I had been humbled. Cori wasn’t being dramatic. Her thigh is bigger and I’m pretty sure her arm was too. My bad Cori, my humble apologies to you!