3 Months Old

Today Kenleigh is 3 months old. I seriously can’t believe how quick time is flying. My first trimester seemed to be the longest three months of my life. I love being a mother more.than.anything! I can’t imagine anything in life that feels more rewarding. It felt like it was a tough adjustment period for me for a little while. Kenleigh was pretty fussy early on and I wasn’t sure when that would ever end. I didn’t know the right ways or the quickest ways to calm her. I am her mother and I didn’t know the right ways to calm her. This was hard. I felt like my entire life stopped so I could take care of this little girl. For a long time I felt like I couldn’t leave the house or even function in the outside world. I was constantly stressed. All while loving my new little girl. A few people had mentioned that I seemed different. Of course I was different. My entire life just changed. Yet some felt that I didn’t seem as happy as I was. This made me sad. I didn’t want to be different. I didn’t even realize I was different. Looking back though I was. I was just as happy – I was happier actually. I just didn’t know how to emulate it. Of course in a quick conversation is seemed obvious but those around me closer sensed my level of stress. I’m not really sure if it was post partum depression. I’m sure to an extent it was. I know that it was a huge release of hormones into my body all at once along with a huge life change. It was scary, it was stressful, it was amazing. Over the last several weeks I personally have noticed a change. I enjoy Kenleigh even more. I didn’t know it was possible. We are figuring each other out. I calm her now – she wants me. We have our own touches with each other. I enjoy her differently. I enjoy her constantly. I stress less. My emotions are level. She’s my blessing. An incredible blessing. My life doesn’t feel like it’s adjusting anymore. I’m a mother. I will always be a mother. I’m sad it took me a while to figure out how to be a mother. To some it is very natural, for me I had to adjust. This shouldn’t have surprised me. I still burn toast. Of course it wouldn’t come easy. Not for me! I still burn toast but now I’m a lucky, lucky mom!
Anyway, Kenleigh was so excited for her three month birthday that I think she woke up every hour the night before. Actually I know she did. This morning Zach got Kenleigh up and let me sleep in for a bit. I guess he had plans of his own to celebrate. When I woke up I came downstairs and Zach and KMae were nowhere to be found…they must be in the basement. That was out of character. We haven’t hung out down there since she was born. Literally. I went to see what they were up to and this is what I found. Zach was down there entertaining her with a little Xbox. I seriously laughed so hard. She was so content lying on her play mat watching him play. They were bonding. It was cute. Father-daughter morning in our house was fun. I let them be.
For the last couple of weeks our good little sleeper has become a bad little sleeper. I’m not really sure what happened. She used to wake up only once a night for a quick bottle and was back to bed. Lately she has been up 2-3 times a night and sometimes (too often) more. I think in the next few weeks we are going to try some sleep training with her if we can’t get her back on track. Not sure how that will go. Here are a few more updates.
*She is still smiling a lot and laughing. She has even started belly laughing. Not a ton but when she does it I can’t help but crack up myself.
*She still hates tummy time. Any suggestions?
*She still hates being in the car. She has gotten better but it’s totally random on if she’s going to scream or not…more screaming than not still.
*She is ok to not be rocked to sleep for her naps anymore. Now I just put her in the swing at naptime and she goes right to sleep.
*She is the SLOWEST eater on the planet. I have tried faster nipples and she chokes. She just likes to eat slowly. She's dainty!
*She pays more attention to her toys and is actually entertained by them.
*She has discovered her hands. She is always staring at them and sucking on them.
*She pulls on my hair.
*She is starting to drool a ton.
*She’s still perfect.