Oh poor, poor, sweet Zach!

This post really could be several different posts, but I’m going to roll everything into one. If any of you don’t know already let me tell you how Zach was raised. His mom was a very hands on mom and she never let her kids go without. I personally think that’s a little overrated. I may think that though only because I’m constantly letting him go without. Before Zach and I got married I would always tell him that I can’t wait to have someone that I can pamper. I told him that I look forward to having someone else to cook dinner for, clean up after (boo), do laundry for etc. I honestly thought I was telling the truth though. I wasn’t just telling him these things so he would marry me. Where the heck did I go wrong….where did he go wrong? Poor guy! We got married a couple years ago and now he has this cute pudgy belly. Some would say that’s because I feed him so well. Ha ha ha ha, I’m laughing so hard right now. What really happened is malnutrition. Do you guys ever see those commercials with the kids from third world countries who are (God bless them all) sick from starvation? I’m not trying to make light of their terribly sad situation, but if any of you have noticed these poor kids have these bellies that stick so far out. We all know they aren’t fed well. That’s what has happened to my husband. I forgot to feed him and I’m sick about it. Don’t get me wrong, the boy is self sufficient…but only when it comes to fast food drive thru. I really don’t want something tragic happening to him like a heart attack years down the road. His dad had a heart attack when he was 45 so I know that from health history Zach is prone to the same devastating consequences. What I have concluded in all of this is that I am going to learn to domesticate myself. I don’t know how to do it so if anyone has any ideas please let me know. There are those that ask why we don’t have kids yet and let this be a good example as to why. Until I can learn to keep a plant kicking there is no way I’m letting a poor child suffer.

This last week while Zach was racing his BMX bike he had an accident and broke his hip. He took the ambulance to the hospital…who am I kidding…the ambulance took him to the hospital (and he hates how I drive)! He had surgery a few days later to put his hip back together. A few days after that he was out of the hospital. He has to be off his hip for 8 weeks! Now if that doesn’t get me on the road to domestication I don’t know what will. I think I have been doing pretty good waiting on him and then tonight rolls around. Gourmet meal or frozen pizza? I ask myself this question often (I don’t know what a gourmet meal means, I just hear the term a lot) and pizza usually wins. Zach however has to make it because I don’t know how. Sad huh? Anyway, I took a stab at the microwave pizza AND I LOST. How ridiculous is that? It’s a freaking frozen pizza. The instructions are to put in microwave for 3 minutes and serve. I got to the microwave I swear only 3 minutes later and cheese was everywhere…except on the pizza. Is there anyone out there who is willing to give me just one pointer on how to better domesticate myself? I’m sure Zach would win in divorce court if he were on his death bed from accidental poison or starvation….